1. a man in relation

to his child or children.

2. (often as a title

or form of address)

a priest.

I did not find god in my father

and I did not find a father

in God. I found, instead,

a picture of a man with teeth

as white as priest’s robes,

as white as perfect clouds.

I called him /Leonard/,

that man, the sperm donor.

What does God say about

men like him? What does

He say about children

who live like me?

Tomorrow I will redefine

Father, and priest, and God.

I will drink the son’s blood

like syrupy medicine;

I will spend Sunday morning

digging knees into the carpet,

and clasp my hands, bow my head,

prepare for death

or salvation, both.

I will hope for /never/

and watch time drain this photo

of color and warmth,

the skin that matches mine

lightening into a bleached

image of God, so

what will God say about

himself?