I asked God for perfection
And he asked “why?”
“Perfection is weakness, that stops anytime”
I begged for loose long hair
That cascaded down my back
And a back hairless
Connected to long skinny legs
I cried for a small nose
With a sharp beautiful tip
One that would brush against another’s
While a smile graced our lips
I sobbed for a love
One like no other
One impossible to diminish
In the face of obstacles
God did not answer
Punished me with long fat fingers
Average fat legs
And hair that barely grows past my shoulders
I asked a higher being for perfection
And they too asked “why?”
“Perfection is subjective, and changes all the time”
I begged for my sideburns,
Though natural, seen as unfeminine and vulgar,
To disappear in a mist and die by their lonesome
I cried for no double chin
And an order of pink luscious lips
To touch another’s
While my mind raced
To say “I love you” without fear of being pushed away
I sobbed for a love
Any love
Romantic, platonic, I wouldn’t care
To love my body rolls, insecurities and tubs of envy
A love stemmed from perfection, even if only temporary
But the higher being did not answer
Punished me with loneliness
Long fat fingers
Average fat legs
Hair that barely grows past my shoulders
Sideburns
Body rolls, insecurities, a tub of envy
And a double chin
I asked for perfection, my greatest fantasy, but was left empty in my own insanity.
Isn’t that funny?
How begging works, I mean.
To hope for something so direly, only to be pushed away.
I still beg for perfection, except I no longer have hope. Because for me perfection is impossible, an empty wish that is worshipped by a tub of envy whilst forever being a hoax.